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The Burden of a Good Day

January 6, 2019January 6, 2019 / Russell James / Leave a comment

Something I’ve thought about for years but I've never mentioned to friends is how one of my “good” days is almost always followed by a “bad” day. “Good” meaning I was able to walk through the day, completing tasks and recreating and socializing with a strong level of coping with my braincloud. “Bad” days meaning … Continue reading The Burden of a Good Day

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How do you cope with conversation? I have no idea how I formed this coping skill, but I’ve been using it since I can remember. It’s how I was able to talk to adults so well when I was a kid. When I misinterpret an action or phrase and mimicked it out of place things start getting weird. 🏕 🏕 🏕 One way I thrived in high school was to celebrate some of my weirder tendencies and kinda act like I was choosing to be a little strange. I was a punk rock kid and people already thought i was strange, so anything I did kinda went with that uniform. It didn’t work in college, so I drank. 🏕 🏕 🏕 Luckily, alcohol doesn’t sit in my stomach well and I couldn’t really abuse it for too long. I could see how it and other substances could be really easy to get addicted to, because they relieve the anxiety so bad. I’m glad I never fell into that trap and I feel so awful for those who have. 🏕 🏕 🏕 #boycottautismspeaks #endableism #endbullying #asdtools #autismtools #autismpride #autismlife #autismrocks #differentnotless #takeoffthemask #disabilityawareness #realshit #beauthentic #autismacceptance #autismblog #autismawareness #autismwarrior #autismloves #neurodiverse #meltdown #neurodiversity #abaisabuse #ableism #onthespectrum #aspergers #autistic #autismsociety #sensoryprocessingdisorder #asd

It’s true. Those of us who were misdiagnosed as children have to find a way to fit in because we don’t know any better. For me, I mimicked the kids who were getting the laughs. In high school I mimicked whoever I was around. In college, I mimicked the party kids. After college, I mimicked the musicians I hung out with. As a result, I haven’t been able to figure out who I am and what I want outside of the pressures of society. I never felt like I fit in, no matter how much it may have looked like I did (or maybe it looked awkward, I wouldn’t really know, would I?). I always felt like an outsider, like I was trying really hard when everyone else wasn’t. It also led me down paths that weren’t true to who I was. I chased a career that makes no sense (being a counselor), going so far as to work towards a PhD for it. I chased dreams that weren’t mine. I convinced myself I had to be a certain way I. Order to survive. . Since the diagnosis came to light in 2018 I have felt liberated, and when the neurologist confirmed it, all the sudden I had all these explanations and understandings that weren’t there before. All of it made sense. Since then, I’ve been working on who I am. I’m a different person, now. I’m very quiet and I don’t really like talking too much. I like to observe more than interact. I like toys and robots and aliens and superheroes. I like loose, comfy clothes. I’m a musician, but I don’t have to play the game like all the rest. I don’t know where my life is headed. But that’s only because for the first time in my life I have so many paths laid out before me. I’m looking forward to being me even more in 2020. . . . . . . #redinstead #asdtools #autismtools #actuallyautistic #autismpride #autismlife #autismrocks #differentnotless #takeoffthemask #disabilityawareness #realshit #beauthentic #autismacceptance #autismblog #autismawareness #autismwarrior #autismloves #neurodiverse #meltdown #neurodiversity #abaisabuse #ableism #onthespectrum #aspie #aspergers #aspielife #autistic #autismsociety #sensoryprocessingdisorder #asd

#Cannabis has been a miracle for our household. I can be in the middle of a meltdown and if my wife can get two hits in me, its gone. Nothing fancy, it’s just gone. Of course I live in Oregon where it’s cheap, plentiful, and of course, legal. Although if I moved to a state that didn’t have med or rec available I’d consider it my duty to engage in civil disobedience on the matter. This is a plant that is the most important element in my medication regime; it keeps everything from tipping over. I usually consume an edible and a pre-rolled joint each day and it keeps me pretty calm most of the time. It takes a while to get used to cannabis and the process is uncomfortable for some people, although most who benefit from it take to it quickly. Do you get paranoid or self-conscious when you use THC? Then it’s the wrong strain. There are plenty of strains that effect the mind in plenty of different ways, there is a strain that is right for you. If you don’t know where to start, try CBD first. Indica strains of THC will calm down (and help with sleep), sativa strains will bring you up (great for depression). Any questions? Please DM me, I have a lot of experience. 😂 . . . . . #boycottautismspeaks #endableism #endbullying #asdtools #autismtools #autismpride #autismlife #autismrocks #differentnotless #takeoffthemask #disabilityawareness #realshit #beauthentic #autismacceptance #autismblog #autismawareness #autismwarrior #autismloves #neurodiverse #meltdown #neurodiversity #abaisabuse #ableism #onthespectrum #aspergers #autistic #autismsociety #sensoryprocessingdisorder #asd

These @traveloregon ads have been the best all year round. Studio Ghibli is a special interest, so as soon as I saw these I was pretty obsessed. I wish I could get posters of these to hang in my studio. . . . . . #actuallyautistic #optoutside #autism #autistic #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autismacceptance #capeperpetua #oregoncoast # #traveloregon #autismawareness #autismrocks #differentnotless #oregon #oregonismagic #autismlife #autismtools #autismpride #autismlife #takeoffthemask #disabilityawareness #autismacceptance #autismloves #ableism #onthespectrum #aspie #aspergers #aspielife #autismsociety #sensoryprocessingdisorder #asd

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